Sunday, February 23, 2014

Social Media Etiquette: Should I Delete My Ex's Family?

Just last week, I was in the grocery store and there was a family talking about a situation that happens a lot on Facebook. Just so you know, I wasn't being nosy... I just wanted to understand their complaint so I spoke with the mother and I let her know that I am a social media expert and a blogger and I would love her opinion on the question:

Should I delete my ex-girlfriend's family?

This question is so personal it really can't be answered in a blanket statement. But, this family had a valid point. The "ex" girlfriend but still baby mama just got married. Apparently, they didn't like the husband and were complaining loudly about the many photos the blushing bride posted. Not about the photos so much as the comments her friends were making.

In some of the photos, the comments were not flattering to her "baby daddy" aka the family's flesh and blood! Sangre de mi sangre. To the point that they were bashing his lack of parenting skills and went so far as to say that now the kid had a "real daddy." Ouch! I can understand this complaint.

I can see their point from this vantage point. But, doesn't a bride have the right to share her photos and joy for all to see? I think so. I would if my own wedding wasn't over 19 years ago. I would be posting my photos until people were sick of seeing them... then I would continue for at least three weeks longer. Wink.

When your friends are posting on your posts and they are bashing your ex... they are most likely rehashing what you have told them. So, keeping those words out of your mouth will help the situation. This is your baby daddy and one day, he may change. Give him the space to be better by not sharing your biggest hurts with friends that are going to show up on your threads and post your deepest thoughts for all the world to see.

So I guess the answer is, it depends on how much policing you are going to do on your threads. If you allow your friends to bash your ex, everyone will see them and this could cause a pile-on. People can take the threads so far down the road that your happy event isn't even in the far horizon.

Some options are:
  1. You can delete the offending post.
  2. You can comment asking people to keep the focus on the joy of your event.
  3. You can let his family know that you are not planning to censor your friends
  4. You can remind his family that if they want to "unfriend you" they will still have access to all of the photos you post of the baby. Then send them directly to their phone or email.

The truth is this #YourPageYourRules. Post what you want. The people that aren't happy can leave. If you have people on your page that you don't want to see certain things, they can ignore them or "unfriend" you. It's so simple, it doesn't even need a post. But, if you want to keep the ex family and think of their feelings, you are doing a good thing.

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